Tales of whoever, whatever

"Setbacks are the opportunity to grow, to transcend, to stumble onto a better way"

Name:
Location: Singapore

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Rare commodity ... finally ...

My manager SMS me & my partner at 520pm, "Good work so far ... just got +ve feedback on your work submitted". She was attending a meeting that involves the higher management & I guess we did her proud at least for today. Afterall, we have been stretched to the limit on resources & this is one of the nice little rewards or recognitions that we will welcome anytime. Of course this isn't the time to feel complacent, we won a battle, not the war yet.

Then came the conspiracy from a probably time-share travel agency. One guy called me saying I had won a lucky draw & went on blabbing about my prize. Before he could get an answer from me to "verify" my "identity" as he claimed, I asked how did I end up participating in the contest.

Because one of the major airlines had given us your record when you flew with them.

Which airline?

I'm not sure. One of the major airlines. We don't have the record.

Which airline? How is it that you don't have the record? Doesn't the draw go through audit?

Yes, of course. Audit will go through it, but we do not know which airline.

Nevermind. What is the period of flying that is eligible for the draw?

Oh that. It stretches for a very long time.

When?

It stretches for a very long time.

Tell you what, I am not convinced that this is really a true lucky draw.

It's okay, thank you for your time.

One more thing, fire spreads really fast in the office ... ... thanks to my colleague whom we bumped into at Wheellock place. People were sneaking up to me & asked if we were an item ... ... In my heart: I hope so! Soon. Not YET. Fortunately she was on duty travel ... ... and I hope they don't do the same to her when she returns ... ...

Finally had the chance to passenger-sit my manager's car as she gave me a lift for the same meeting ... a convertible sports car, 2 seater Mazda ... It was simply cool ... She blasted the music but didn't unwind the rooftop ... that's the only pity ... ...

Monday, April 25, 2005

It is always easier to say

Supposed to meet CJ & Hippo for blading today. As a matter of fact, both of them asked me on Saturday. But they did me in ... ... they pulled out last minute for some reasons. In the end I went alone. Nevermind, it was not the first time Hippo had used the same 'trick' on us. I am beginning to doubt her words seriously. Does she say something for the sake of saying? A spur of the moment that never meant to be realised? More than a couple of times she has initiated something and pulled out the last minute ... ... More than a couple of times she gives advices that nobody understands ... ... I am also wondering if she had been lending her ears to listen to my stories in the past ... ... Tell you what, I am going to take her words as a pinch of salt until she has proven she is worth what she says.

Perhaps if there is something positive that I can learn from this is the - "it's always easier to say" phrase. But I am going to improve it with "it's always easier to say from the bottom of my heart". Say what my heart wants to let someone knows, what I want to be heard. I have been keeping something at the bottom of my heart from J for sometimes. I have been wondering if she knows. I think she should yet how do I really know? I won't know unless I ask, isn't it? She wouldn't know unless I make it known to her, would she? It is always easier to say, they say. But I will say, it is always easier to say from the bottom of my heart.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Interpret the evening

Knew from yesterday that she was going to FF today. So I guess she didn't have any programs for the day. So I messaged her in the afternoon if she would like to meet for dinner and catch a movie. Quite surprised that she agreed as I was anticipating that she would already have some programs lined up. So we met at cineleisure but the seats available were separated. Went to Lido in the end (yes, that's our Alley HQ). We catched the 930 show - Interpreter. So-so rating if not for Sean Penn & Nicole Kidman plus the plot that almost lost me right from the beginning til the end. I am still finding out the rationale for certain part of the plot though. Please let me know if you have watched & understood it... ... got to make my money worth... ...

We went for dinner at Border's Olio Dome. We saw something we shouldn't see... rather it is more politically correct to say someone saw something she shouldn't see. We met our colleague! Oh shoot me, there is going to be more whisperings from ears to ears come Monday. The teasing will come. We are ready & prepared.

Keep Moving

J got many blisters from her old and new shoes today & was asking me for plasters. I went to check the first aid box in the office & couldn't believe there weren't any. I thought of going down to buy for her. But sensible thinkings of tongues wagging in the office pulled me back. It was only until knock-off time that she asked me again. This time, I went to buy some for her. Hope that would add flavour to her opinions of me. Anyway, competition is everywhere now. A male colleague is flying to Frankfurt this Sunday & asked her what she want at the airport. Hmm ... ... food for thoughts ...

Anyway, many staffs had left long before us & we were the last to leave the office. We caught (or rather they caught us?) them chilling out at the Starbucks below our office. She told me the bunch was teasing us. I didn't hear that. I'm not sure if I want to hear that. It would be nice, yet wonder if my fragile heart could take another beating with a wishful one-way thinking. She invited me to join her 2 guy friends for a drink & I was hesitating along the way actually as I expressed my insecurity that I would feel odd. She assured me it wouldn't be. I had actually more or less decided on going home early, somehow a karmic force that managed to elude my detection pushed me to join her for the night. Perhaps it was her expressions on her face that told me she wanted me to join her. Fortunately, the night ended assuringly well with deep & meaningful conversations with her & her friends. Hey, I didn't drink. You know I can't drink, don't you?

Now, I wonder if that was a step forward or 1 step back to move 2 steps forward.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

So Cold

I don't mean the weather, nevermind that it was raining heavily in the day. I sensed myself getting a little bit of distance from her (J). I guess it was the same for her. Any idiots could have guessed my intentions and her intentions were never on the same side. It just took a BIG idiot like me until Saturday to realise that. I SMS her on Friday to ask her out. Her reply on Saturday was so ... ... obvious in the meaning ... ... She isn't interested.

It did not help to get me warmer when my female colleague, N was telling me something via 'net send' in Lotus Notes. J was going to shop for a pyjamas, a cute pj for a guy friend. N didn't know if he is her B/F or someone close to that. Add to that, J and N are going to Kuching on one of the long weekends in May. Both J and N have friends over there. Both want to meet their friends. J's friend is a guy. It felt so cold out of a sudden. I remember she bought a phone card a few weeks ago to make a long distance call to Sarawak. So I guess that person means more than a friend to her. All the while, I was listening to 童话. Past experience has trained me more than enough to hold my tears in front of the public eyes. Office is the last place to show my tears.

Later in the day, I received a SMS from a friend I have not heard for some time. (Oh not to mention I met my friend who lived opposite me while on the way to work too. Though so near, I have never met her for very long time). Anyway, I used to fancy this girl. She asked if I have a G/F. I asked her back if she has a B/F. So both of us are still single & looking ... ...

Sunday, April 17, 2005

No chance for now

What more can I say? What more can I do?

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Her Mum has nice comments for me

Received an email from my friend, Adrian today. He was one of the 3 guys whom I had met during the first interview. He asked if there was a new girl in my office. I said yes and it turned out that he was her mum's colleague! Okay, she did ask if I know a guy called Adrian in her mother's department before but I said no because I thought he started at another department. Anyway, he told me her mum had good comments for me heh... ... The dream is evolving into reality soon .... .... =)

Damn .... got a dry throat today ....

Monday, April 11, 2005

Re-focus?

Hmm ... didn't manage to get her out for the past one week or so, since I joined her and her friends for shopping the other day. I guess she is not interested in me afterall, probably just being friendly. Her replies in SMS weren't that hopeful either... so I think it is time to move on before she makes it anymore clearer in a way that I couldn't accept!

Anyway, I have been thinking for the past few weeks about my prospect in the company. I took the chance to seek the advice from another colleague, YY, who just received her 25 years of Award Service. She told me things were good in the golden days, but not now. She said my venture outside would certainly achieve much more than if I were to stay behind and work my way up. Even a manager position & above would pale in terms of pay & benefits etc... ... She gave a definite advice, "Leave".

Meanwhile, I seeked another colleague in the same department who is a scholar bonded to the company for 4 years. He has about another 2 years to complete the bond but going to break soon to persue his MBA. He advises me to play the wait-and-see game. "Stay for a year and see..." He said I was doing fine, especially when my colleague was away for course and leave for more than a month. The issues we are concerned are whether the boss will take notice and give the opportunities due to us. He said the big boss listened to my manager alot... which I felt was true. On the other hand, will my manager fervently recommend me? I have to think twice .... because I have no clues to that. Perhaps... I should stay... On the other hand, prospect is certainly brighter (pay-wise) on the other side of the fence.