Tales of whoever, whatever

"Setbacks are the opportunity to grow, to transcend, to stumble onto a better way"

Location: Singapore

Friday, May 20, 2005

What does not kill me can only make me stronger

Got a lousy day that will make me reflect to make me a better person. Feeling so down at the end of the day. The never ending pile of work on my desk, the lorn feeling I had towards the end of the day and so on ... ...

Let's talk about work first. Just received a bomb shell from my manager that there is going to be a Steering Committee meeting next Friday. And she only returned the vetted minutes today which I had long sent her about 2 months ago. She had the cheek to send me an email saying that in future to remind her when the minutes sent to her for vetting have lapsed for a week. I had reminded her before and she said "this SC meeting is quarterly, leave it first" .... Women .... their mood can change in an instant. Now I have to handle this delicately on top of another super high priority project. This is REALLY s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g.

Perhaps, the final hit on the nail to my lorness is that she is going to Kuching tomorrow with another female colleague. Both are taking half day leave on Friday and Tuesday, returning on Monday evening. She has a guy friend over there who would bring them around. The other colleague also has a friend in Kuching. I can't help but think that she is on very close terms with this guy and I don't know why I have the idea that this guy has the talents that captivate her. Well, I have been finding a chance to express my feelings to her. Maybe today. She went to the gym after work. She had arranged with her friend. She did ask me whether I was going gym. I wanted to... But thinking of the pile of work screaming at me that it's about time, I had to say I got to finish up some work. In the end, I did go to the gym, didn't see her, saw my boss instead... She went to the other branch. I went back to the office after a short work out. Afterall, I felt my strength draining off each second I think about tomorrow work, about my lack of courage to express my feelings to her, about how she really feels for me .... Will it be too late by the time I muster my courage? Too late by the time she comes back from the trip? Perhaps it is not the courage to express my feelings that I lack, it is the courage to face the fear of rejection... What would happen if I decide to go ahead? What would happen if I stay put? What would not happen if I decide to go ahead? What would not happen if I stay put? I know what I should do now....


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't worry dude.
Go for it.. think of it this way...if she accepts you, good for u...if not, be gracious about it and move on with ur life. Life is full of surprises.. Take it in your stride.

11:35 PM  
Blogger X&Y said...

Thanks dude. A friend's advice indeed makes a lot more sense to me. "We have nothing to lose anyway. Take things easy, we don't have to be so hard on ourselves."

2:04 AM  

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